Third time is a charm
For my third and hopefully final pitch I took the advice I
received from one of my classmates. That is, I received feedback regarding the
lack of information on the fees for my service.
I also received feedback on redundancy of statistics that I quoted during
the pitch. Finally, I learned that I was
monotone in the delivery of portions of the pitch.
Here is how I addressed the feedback I received for my last
video. For my third pitch, I was closer to my first pitch
in content. So once again, I incorporated my service fees back into the pitch. I did manage to keep the quoted statistics in
the pitch; however, I made sure to eliminate the redundancy. The stats acted as a hook for the pitch, much
like the original video used humor. I
also conducted a few more practice pitches and did not use reference points to alleviate
the monotone delivery.
I felt much more comfortable in front of the camera, but my
pitch was not quite memorized.
Good that you took the initiative to adapt to your peer comments and able to improve and grow your elevator pitch. Good supplemental and educational tool to utilize peer comments to improve our professional profile. Good that you were also able to understand your own flaws and build upon them. I personally do not like to use stats in elevator pitches. I feel that they are not that effective, but if they are for you, use them.
ReplyDeleteDan, from the first two seconds of your pitch, i KNEW it would be awesome. You were so much more enthusiastic, with your voice and body language (hand motions). You sounded natural, and looked natural with your motions. Your explanations were easy to understand, and the questions you listed were relate-able. All the numbers in your pitch were not overwhelming since you took your time explaining everything. GREAT job!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow Dan, you did a wonderful job on this pitch. You looked a lot more natural an less stiff from the previous one. You’ve made it simpler and got straight to the point. I did notice for a lot of us when we focus more on the key points and less on the memorization of the presentation, we do a lot better, the pitch is more natural and conversational.
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